Source: HostingAdvice.com Read the full study: Online Gaming Safety Study
Gaming has become a pretty normal part of family life for a lot of families, including ours. And I think one of the hardest parts for parents is realizing that online gaming isn’t just about the game anymore. Our kids aren’t necessarily sitting in a room by themselves playing a game. They can be talking to people, receiving friend requests, using voice chat, sending messages, exchanging gifts and being contacted by people we don’t know.
That changes the conversation. HostingAdvice.com recently surveyed more than 1,000 U.S. parents about online gaming safety, and some of the numbers caught our attention. More than 8 in 10 parents said they were concerned about their children’s safety while gaming online. The survey also found that children had encountered bullying or harassment, requests for personal information, contact from adults or strangers, scams and inappropriate content.
One statistic especially stood out to me: 83.5% of parents said they were confident their child would tell them about an unsafe or uncomfortable interaction while gaming. I think most parents want to believe that. But would our kids actually tell us? That is one of the reasons I wanted to take this conversation a little further and ask an expert what parents should actually be watching for and doing.
A Conversation About Online Gaming Safety
For this article, we connected with Joe Warnimont, an expert with HostingAdvice.com, to talk about online gaming safety and what parents can do to help protect their children without making gaming something they have to fear. HostingAdvice’s research gives us the numbers. Joe’s answers give parents some practical things to think about when it comes to their own children.
Here are the questions I asked him.
What is the biggest mistake parents make when it comes to online gaming safety? Is there something parents often overlook because they assume their child is already safe?
Joe Warnimont: The biggest mistake parents make is assuming age ratings and parental controls are enough. Once an adult convinces a child to move a conversation to another medium, those measures don’t help. Parents should vet people children interact with. Survey showed 12% of children were prompted to move a conversation from a game to another app.
Your survey found that 83.5% of parents are confident their child would tell them about an unsafe or uncomfortable interaction while gaming. What can parents do to make sure their children really will come to them when something happens?
Joe Warnimont: 83.5% confidence may be overconfident. Kids fear losing game access, so may hide harmful interactions. Parents should never get angry if harmful situation occurs and repeatedly tell children they will never take their game away for reporting suspicious things. Give examples of weird things adults might say so children know what to look for.
What warning signs should parents watch for? Are there changes in a child’s gaming habits, behavior, or interactions that could indicate they are experiencing bullying, inappropriate contact, or another unsafe situation?
Joe Warnimont: Overall shift from normal behavior; more withdrawn, secretive, playing late at night, changing/turning off window when parent walks in. Bullied children may suddenly dislike a previously loved game, act anxious/withdrawn/angry. Gifts can be a warning: rare game items, unexplained gift cards, in-game currencies used to lure children.
How much monitoring is appropriate? What would you recommend parents do regarding parental controls, chat and messaging restrictions, privacy settings, and checking who their children are communicating with while gaming?
Joe Warnimont: Monitoring should be similar to a healthy phone approach. Younger kids should have limited access; greater access as judgment improves. Friends-only chat virtually every age until adulthood. Elementary-age: monitor every friend request, turn off voice chat, restrict in-game purchases. Teens: monthly friend-list review together; mutual transparency, or less transparent schedule if necessary. All ages: general parental restrictions and two-factor authentication.
If a child receives a request for personal information, is contacted by a stranger, encounters bullying, or is exposed to inappropriate content, what should the parent and child do next? What are the most important steps to take?
Joe Warnimont: Initial response determines whether child tells you in future. Stay calm, don’t act appalled/angry. Treat like a small car accident: ensure child is okay, document everything, file report. Block/report bad accounts. Report to game, local police, NCMEC CyberTipline. Change password if personal info was shared.
There is a lot here for parents to think about. I especially keep coming back to the idea that we don’t want our children to be afraid to tell us something happened because they’re afraid we’re going to take the game away. That one is important.
If our child knows that telling us about a stranger, a weird message, bullying or something that made them uncomfortable automatically means the controller gets taken away, there is a pretty good chance they may decide it is easier to say nothing. And that’s the opposite of what we want.
We also need to remember that online safety isn’t something we can check once and then forget about. Our children get older. Their games change. Their friends change. The way they communicate changes. What is appropriate for a younger child isn’t necessarily the same thing that works for a teenager.
And I really like the idea of making these conversations part of normal family life instead of waiting until something goes wrong. Ask who they’re playing with. Ask what they’re playing. Talk about friend requests. Talk about strangers. Talk about what information should never be shared. And most importantly, make sure they know that if something feels wrong, they can come to us.
We may not always understand every game they are playing or every piece of gaming terminology they use. That’s okay. We don’t have to be gamers ourselves to be involved parents. We just have to keep the conversation open.
For parents who want to dig into the numbers behind this conversation, you can read the complete HostingAdvice.com Online Gaming Safety Study. And if you would like to learn more about HostingAdvice and the work they do, visit HostingAdvice.com.
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Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
