As much as I hate to admit it where still living Charlie’s circumstances of being fired from the Airport. Trying to decide what he should do since his job suddenly stopped but the bills haven’t not only is Charlie still living this story. As his parents we are too.

Charlie has been off work for a couple weeks now, and we’re still trying to figure out exactly what happened with his job. And if I’m being completely honest, this has been one of those situations that makes me frustrated and just a little bit crazy.

Everyone handles things differently and I know that but when this first happened if it was me and the lady wasn’t calling like they said she would I wouldn’t have been sitting around waiting for somebody to call.

I’d already been up and making phone calls. Asking questions and I’d be finding out exactly what my employment status was. Then I would have been making a backup plan. While looking for temporary work.

I would have been filling out applications and figuring out what bills were coming due and how I was going to pay them. I wouldn’t be staying up all night playing games and sleeping all day while somebody else was trying to figure out what was happening with my job.

And yes, I know I’m old school. I also know that young people today don’t always think the way I do. If somebody told me, “They’re going to call you,” my response would probably be:

“That’s fine. Butif they hadn’t called me by then I’m going to call them. Because maybe they really are going to call but they could get busy and I have bills to pay I can’t wait for them.

Maybe everything will be explained and maybe the job will be waiting but what happens if they don’t call tomorrow? What if they don’t call next week? What if Charlie is sitting there six months from now still wondering whether he actually has a job? That’s why I believe young adults need to learn how to advocate for themselves.

Even though David and I are still trying to figure out what happened and that’s the difficult part because we don’t have all the information and now Charlie is just wanting to throw in the towel and move on.

David and I can’t do that because we’re still trying to understand exactly what happened and what comes next. But we do know his employer is through the situation but there is information we don’t have.

Since Charlie refuses to contact HR we may never have answers to why Charlie was let go. Because of this I don’t know how to help Charlie and because I don’t know, I don’t want to pretend that I do.

But that uncertainty has taught me something important: When something changes at work, you need information. You need to know what happened and you need to know your employment status.

You need to know what your employer expects you to do next. And you need to know when you should follow up. Because as Charlie’s mom I Wish Charlie had done a few things differently.

I wish he had written down exactly what was said and I wish he had asked more questions. I wish he had made sure he understood what was happening and I wish he had called me before signing something he didn’t understand.

I wish he had started thinking about Plan B immediately. Not because I think David or I always have the answer. Which we don’t. But information matters. Time matters and you can’t just thrown in the towel when something doesn’t go your way.

If David or I knew what happened, we might be able to help him figure out what questions to ask next. Right now, I feel like my hands are tied because I don’t have all the information. And as his mother and father, that’s a hard place to be.

I can’t go to his job and fix this Believe me, I’ve threatened to and David has as well. But Charlie is turning 19. At some point, this has to become his responsibility. Even though David is trying to help and I can help.

Family can encourage him. But it has to be Charlie who steps up. It has to be Charlie who asks: “What is my employment status?” “Am I still employed?” “Am I expected to return to work?”

“When should I expect another update?” “Is there anything I need to do while I’m waiting?” Those are not unreasonable questions. They’re adult questions. And learning to ask them is part of growing up.

One thing I’ve been telling Charelie is to not turn waiting into doing nothing and this is where David and I keep coming back to Charlie. We know his employer isn’t going to call. There are things he should be doing now.

He needs to make a résumé and he needs to begin looking for other jobs. Even if its temporary work. Then he can look at legitimate opportunities for which he’s eligible like a job through a temporary agency.

He needs to figure out his upcoming bills and stop running around with his friends using up his gas and spending money on drinks and snacks. He needs to look up his car payment and see if there is a grace period if he misses a appoitment..

He can look at his insurance and see if there is a cheaper rate. Like I said earlier Charlie need’s to stop unnecessary spending. He needs to help around the house because David and I are working more hours to try and `help with his car payment and insurance.

Charlie needs to get caught up on responsibilities including the dogs and his room. He can get online and get his Drivers License or take classes for a new career. All the while Charlie can prepare for whatever answer comes next.

He can get out of bed instead of staying up all night and sleeping all day. Because waiting for someone else to make a decision doesn’t mean you have to stop making decisions for yourself. You can wait for a new employer to call you can still move forward.

As I keep tell Charlie the bills don’t wait which Charlie should understand because his dads hours just got cut and were dealing with changes to our rent in our Apartment which is another lesson Charlie needs to learn.

As I tell Charlie next month doesn’t care whether you’ve figured everything out. The car payment will still be due. Insurance will still be due. Gas will still cost money. The bills will still arrive.

That’s why learning to manage money while you have a paycheck matters. Don’t wait until the paycheck disappears to start thinking about your finances. And don’t assume Mom and Dad can simply become the backup plan every time something goes wrong. That’s not how we teach independence.

This has been a #teachingmoment for me as well because I have to step back and also make sure David does too which is hard for me. Because I want to know what happened and I want answers.

I want to call. I want to fix things. But I also know that Charlie is 19. If I do everything for him, he doesn’t learn how to do it himself. And that’s one of the hardest parts of parenting an adult child.

Sometimes helping doesn’t mean fixing. Sometimes helping means asking: “What are you going to do next?” Sometimes it means sitting beside them while they make the phone call. Sometimes it means helping them understand something.

And sometimes it means stepping back. David can help. I can help. Family can encourage him. But ultimately, Charlie has to take responsibility for Charlie’s job. Maybe This Is the Lesson He Needs

We now know Charlie isn’t getting his job back. I was hoping he would but even if he had I wasn’t sure that would have been what would have been the best for him. I’m Praying he he finds something better.

Maybe through this experience it becomes the reason he starts a side business. Or maybe he discovers another way to earn money. Or maybe he learns to save more. Or maybe he learns to ask more questions.

Maybe he learns that when somebody says, “We’ll call you,” it’s okay to politely ask when he should follow up. Whatever happens, I want him to learn from it. Because that’s what we’re trying to do with this series. We’re taking a difficult situation and asking: What can another young person learn from this?

I wanted to remind you Plan B Doesn’t Mean Giving Up on Plan A. Which is something I wish every young person understood. Maybe the phone rings tomorrow for you but we know it isn’t going to for Charlie.

Maybe HR has an answer for you but we don’t know if it did for Charlie because he wouldn’t ask. Maybe everything gets straightened out for you which we know isn’t going to happen for Charlie.

But if you’ve spent the meantime updating your résumé, looking for opportunities, reviewing your finances, and preparing for the future, none of that was wasted. You learned something. You prepared yourself and you took responsibility for yourself. And if Plan A doesn’t work? You aren’t starting from zero.

My family doesn’t know what is going to happen next but we do no there is no, more waiting. Now its time to start learning and do something new. . And as a mother, I have to remind myself that I cannot solve every problem for my adult children.

Sometimes I have to stand back. Sometimes I have to let them make the phone call. Sometimes I have to let them experience the consequences. Sometimes I have to say: “I love you. I’ll help you learn. But I can’t do this for you.”

That’s not giving up. That’s parenting an adult. And maybe that’s one of the hardest transitions a mother ever makes. So if you’re a young adult reading this because something has suddenly gone wrong at your job, take a breath.

Don’t assume the worst. Don’t assume everything is fine, either. Find out. Document what you know. Ask questions. Look at your options. Take responsibility for your next step. Because Plan A may still work if your lucky but for Charlie it didn’t.

That is where Charlie is now and why he needs to start building Plan B and why were sharing these articles for Teen Entrepreneurs: When Plan A Changes Real-life lessons. Practical tools. Faith, family, resilience—and learning how to keep moving forward.

Grateful, Thankful, and Blessed

Thank you,

Glenda, Charlie and David Cates