Charlie is leaving this week and as he was packing I begin to think back to the days when he was in school and they had a day off and more times than not I would hear mo, I’m bored. Or there is nothing to do. I thought I would help kids learn to find something to do without mom becoming the entertainment committee because the kids are saying “I’m bored.”
Those two little words can make a perfectly peaceful afternoon come to a screeching halt. You may have just finished cleaning the kitchen. You’re trying to fold laundry. Maybe you’re making dinner, answering an email, paying bills, or simply sitting down for the first time all day.
Then you hear it. “Mom, I’m bored.” And if you’ve been a parent for very long, you probably know what comes next. You suggest something. “No.” You suggest something else. “I don’t want to do that.” You give them another idea. “That’s boring.” Mom, what else is there to do. By then I just wanted to scream find something to do I’m busy but I didn’t.
Then before I knew it, I was standing in the middle of the room trying to invent an entire afternoon of entertainment for somebody who was perfectly capable of finding something to do five minutes ago. Have you heen there. And one of the biggest things I’ve learned is this:
Children don’t always need us to solve their boredom. Sometimes they need us to let them figure it out. I wanted to remind you boredom doesn’t mean something is wrong We live in a world where entertainment is everywhere. There are television shows, video games, phones, tablets, YouTube videos, social media, and enough digital entertainment to keep someone occupied from breakfast until bedtime.
So when everything gets quiet, boredom can feel uncomfortable. But boredom isn’t necessarily a bad thing. A bored child has an opportunity to think. They can look around. They can imagine. They can remember a toy they haven’t played with in months. They can start drawing.
They can build something and they can read. They can go outside and they can create a game. They can help Mom and they can simply sit and think. Those are all things worth learning. You don’t have to say yes to every “I’m Bored” and it doesn’t make you a bad parent if you tell them to figure it out themselves.
This is where parents sometimes get caught. We hear our child say, “I’m bored,” and immediately feel like we need to fix it. But you don’t. You can acknowledge it without taking responsibility for it. Sometimes the answer can simply be: “I’m sorry you’re bored. What are you going to do about it?” That one little question puts the responsibility back where it belongs. On the child. And that’s not being mean. That’s teaching.
Of course, younger children may genuinely need help getting started. Instead of planning the entire activity for them, give them a few possibilities. “Would you like to color, read, build something, or play outside?” Now you’ve given them choices without becoming their personal activity director.
You can even create a simple Boredom Box. It doesn’t have to cost anything. Take a container you already have and fill it with slips of paper containing simple ideas: Draw a picture and build a fort. Read a book. Make a card for someone. Build something with blocks. Write a silly story. Sort your toys. Make a pretend restaurant.
Go outside and find five interesting things. Help make a snack. Play a board game. Make up a new game. The possibilities don’t have to be fancy. The purpose isn’t to create Pinterest-worthy childhood experiences. The purpose is to give children a place to start.
There’s another side to this conversation. Sometimes when a child says, “I’m bored,” what they’re really saying is: “I want some attention.” But instead of saying mom will you play with me they say I’m bored and that’s different and its something we need to relize.
There will be times when Mom needs to put down what she’s doing and spend a little time with her child. Maybe you play a game. Maybe you read a book together. Maybe you sit outside and talk. Maybe you make cookies. Those moments matter. The goal isn’t to teach children that Mom never has time for them. The goal is to teach them that Mom doesn’t have to provide every single moment of entertainment. There’s a big difference.
Now, before you say what if they don’t like your ideas? Which they may not. And that’s okay. If you’ve ever suggested cleaning their room as something to do, you probably already know that isn’t going to make the top of their list. But children don’t have to love every option.
Sometimes learning to entertain yourself means making the best of what you have available. You can say: “Those are the choices today. You can pick one, or you can think of something else.” Then let them think. Give them a little time. You might be surprised at what they come up with when you don’t immediately rescue them from boredom.
Take the opportunity to turn “I’m Bored” into creativity and one of my favorite things about boredom is that it can lead somewhere completely unexpected. A child starts with a cardboard box. Suddenly it’s a house. Then it’s a store and then the store needs signs and shelve and on and on..
Now they need money to play with. Then they need a restaurant next door. Before you know it, an entire imaginary neighborhood has appeared in your living room. None of that required a new toy. None of it required an app. None of it required Mom to plan a three-hour activity. The child simply needed enough space to imagine.
Here’s another answer to “I’m bored” that parents sometimes forget: There’s always something that needs doing. Depending on their age, children can help fold towels, match socks, put away toys, wipe the table, organize books, help prepare food, water plants, feed pets, or straighten their room. Helping doesn’t have to be punishment.
It can be part of family life. And sometimes a child who says they’re bored discovers that doing something useful actually feels pretty good. They accomplished something. They learned something. They contributed. That’s valuable too and that is what counts for my family.
One of the biggest misconceptions about keeping children busy is that you need to constantly buy things. You don’t. Look around the house. What do you already have? Paper. Crayons. Boxes. Books. Blankets. Plastic cups. Pillows. Old magazines. Playing cards. Board games. Kitchen utensils. Craft supplies. Toys that haven’t been touched in months.
Sometimes the answer to boredom is already sitting in a closet. You just have to give your child permission to use their imagination. And Yes, It’s okay for them to be bored. This may be the hardest part for parents or it was for me but might not be for you.
We don’t like hearing our children complain and we don’t like watching them sit around. We may even feel guilty when they aren’t doing something. But childhood doesn’t have to be a nonstop schedule of activities. There can be quiet. There can be waiting. There can be afternoons with nothing planned. There can be moments when a child looks at you and says: “I’m bored.”
And you can smile and say: “I know. You’ll figure something out.” Then go back to what you were doing. Because eventually, they will. And when they do, they’ve learned something much more valuable than how to stay entertained. They’ve learned how to entertain themselves.
The goal isn’t to eliminate boredom and we’re not trying to create a childhood where children never get bored. That’s impossible. And honestly, I’m not sure we’d want to. We’re trying to raise children who don’t panic when they’re bored. Children who can look around and say, “What can I do?”
Children who can use their imagination. Children who can create something. Children who can help. Children who can read. Children who can go outside. Children who can simply enjoy a quiet afternoon. And maybe most importantly, children who understand that Mom and Dad love them deeply—but they aren’t responsible for filling every empty minute of the day.
So the next time those familiar words echo through the house— “I’m bored!” Take a breath. You don’t have to become the entertainment committee. You can simply ask: “What are you going to do about it?” And then give them the chance to surprise you.
Grateful. Thankful. Blessed.
GreatfulMoments.com
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
