After everything we’ve gone through with Charlie this week, I keep thinking about one thing I wish he had done differently. I wish he had kept more of his own records. No, matter how many times I’ve stressed this to Charlie and David neither of them will do this.
I wish he had taken pictures of the paperwork he was given, where appropriate. I wish he had written down exactly what was said to him. I wish he had written down the date, the time, and who he talked to.
And honestly, I wish he had called me before signing something he didn’t completely understand. Not because I think Mom always knows everything. But because sometimes another set of eyes can help you slow down and ask the questions you didn’t think to ask.
Right now, I feel like my hands are tied because I don’t have all the information. And that’s frustrating. David is trying to find out what he can. But ultimately, this is Charlie’s employment situation.
He’s almost 19. He’s the one who needs to know what happened, what he signed, what he was told, and what his employer expects him to do next. And that is exactly why I think every teenager should have an employment folder from their very first job.
Not because we expect something bad to happen. Because we don’t. We hope their first job goes wonderfully. We hope they learn, make friends, earn money, gain confidence and eventually move on to an even better opportunity.
But life doesn’t always go according to plan. And when something unexpected happens, the information you saved six months ago can suddenly become extremely important. Which is something Charlie is learning now and David to.
I wish Charlie had started a employment folder and before you ask what exactly is an employment folder? It can be a physical folder. It can be a binder. It can be a secure digital folder. It can even be a combination of the two.
The important thing is that the employee knows where it is and can find it. And parents, this is a good place to teach rather than take over. Don’t necessarily keep everything yourself.
Your young adult should know what documents they have, where they are, and why they matter. Because someday Mom and Dad won’t be standing beside them. They’re going to have to do this themselves.
When your teenager gets their first job, they should start with the basics and keep a record of: The employer’s name and there supervisors name or who they report to. The job title and the date they started
The location where they work and HR contact information, if applicable and the company’s contact information. Their scheduled hours and their rate of pay And as things change, update the information.
Also document the job they was hired for and any other jobs they are asked to do. If they have any altercations with anyone make sure and document everything that happened and why.
Keep track of any days your off and why. I know this sounds simple but imagine six months later when somebody asks: “When did you start working there?” Instead of guessing, you can look.
If your employer gives you an employee handbook, don’t throw it away. Read it and keep it. Know where it is. And if the employer provides updates to its policies, pay attention to those, too.
Your handbook may explain workplace expectations, attendance policies, disciplinary procedures, benefits, employee responsibilities and other rules that apply to your job.
You don’t have to memorize the whole thing. But you should know how to find it when you need it. Then add it to the folder your making so you can refer to it when any questions about your job comes up.
Remind not only your teens but your friends and family to keep there pay records which is one of the most important things a young worker can learn. This is why I stress to David and Charlie to keep your pay stubs or other wage records that your employer provides.
Don’t just look at the amount deposited into your bank account. You need to learn to look at your paycheck and to check on what was your gross pay was and what was withheld? The check to see how many hours you were paid for?
If your hours are wrong check with HR to get them fixed and before going to HR check out the deductions were taken out ? Because a lot of time this information may not match what you expected?
This is part of learning how money actually works. Your first paycheck isn’t just money. It’s information. If something is wrong and your missing hours this is money your losing out on so don’t be like Charlie and say its okay because even $1 can add up and its yours you worked for it.
If your employer provides work schedules, keep them when practical. Why? Because your schedule tells part of the story of your employment. If your hours change, keep track of those changes.
If you’re sent home early, keep a record. If you’re asked to come in on a day you weren’t originally scheduled, make a note. Also, keep track of any extra hours you work. You don’t have to turn your life into a giant paperwork project. But when something unusual happens, write it down.
If your employer communicates with you through email, text messages, an employee app or another system, learn how that communication works. Keep a folder with all the messages in it incase someone has a question you can show them what you were told.
Important employment-related messages may include a change in schedule or a request from a supervisor. It could be a meeting notice or a disciplinary communication. A change in employment status or information from HR.
Instructions about returning to work or instructions about paperwork and anything else that could become important later. Don’t delete something important just because you’re frustrated with it. Save it according to your employer’s policies and keep your own records where appropriate.
Make sure you write down important conversations which is something I especially wish Charlie had done because not only in a job but in life as well when something serious happens at write it down.
You can make a simple timeline. For example: Monday — 10:30 a.m. Spoke with supervisor and then I write down what happened and make sure to include what you were told and also write down what you were asked to do.
Then write down whether you were told someone would contact you and rite down the person’s name. Ask when they will call and get the information so if they don’t call when there supposed to you can call them. Waiting doesn’t bring answers which is what Charlie did wrong.
Then, if another conversation happens, add it. Remember you don’t have to write a novel you just need enough information that two weeks later you can remember what actually happened. Because when you’re stressed, your memory isn’t always as reliable as you think it is.
The biggest take away from this is if someone hands you a document and asks you to sign something it, read it. If you don’t understand something, ask. If you’re unsure what you’re agreeing to, ask the appropriate person to explain it. And if you are permitted to receive a copy, keep it.
If you’re unsure whether you’re allowed to photograph or retain something, ask. The lesson isn’t: “Never sign anything.” The lesson is: “Know what you’re signing.” That’s an adult responsibility. If you still don’t understand something ask for someone to explain it again.
And if something is extremely important or you believe you need legal advice, that’s the point where you may need to seek appropriate professional guidance rather than guessing. Don’t just sign it because you think that’s what they want to do because once you sign something you can’t take it away.
If you already signed something? Don’t panic. Don’t automatically assume you did something wrong. Start with: “Can I get a copy of the document I signed?” Then read it. Find out what it says.
If you don’t understand it, ask questions. And if the situation is serious, consider getting appropriate professional advice or go to your HR department or Labor Union. The worst thing you can do is ignore something because you’re afraid to look at it.
Make sure you keep track of who you talked to and if your not sure how to spell there name which has happened to David and Charlie ask them. Because this is another simple habit that can make a huge difference.
When you have an important conversation, write down: Who you spoke with and their position. The date and the time. What you discussed and what they told you to do next. When they said you would hear back.
Then you have your own timeline. And if someone later says: “We talked about that last Tuesday.” You can look at your notes. If you don’t have the information let them know you don’t have it or recall having that conversation would they mind going over the info again.
This is where I want to make an important distinction. My old-school instinct says: “Record everything!” But recording workplace conversations can be subject to laws and workplace policies, and those rules can vary.
So don’t secretly record a conversation simply because someone on the internet told you it was okay. Instead, start with written notes and documentation. If you are considering recording a conversation, learn the applicable law and workplace rules first. The goal is to protect yourself—not accidentally create another problem.
If your still not sure if you can record the conversation ask them and if there not sure let them know you want to talk to HR first and see what they say before you talk to anyone.
Your employment folder should also eventually contain important tax documents your employer provides. When tax season comes around, don’t throw those papers into a drawer and forget about them.
Know what documents you’re receiving. Know where you put them. And learn what they’re for. You don’t have to understand every tax rule at 18 or 19. But you should start learning now.
If your workplace is unionized, your employment folder should include information about your union and the agreement that applies to your job. Know: Who your union representative is and where to find your collective bargaining agreement. How to contact the union.
What procedures apply if you have a workplace problem. And if something happens to your employment, contact the union and ask questions. Don’t assume you have no options simply because you’re young or new. Find out what applies to you. When starting a new job and they mention they have a Union find out how soon there coverage begins for you.
This is something Charlie and Bradley didn’t do and now, they refuse to contatct them because they don’t know when there coverage started and this is keeping them from getting answers they need.
And parents, here’s where we have to step back and this is the part David & I struggle with. Because as a mother, when my child has a problem, my first instinct is: FIX IT. I want to call. I want answers and I want paperwork and I want to know exactly what happened.
But Charlie is almost 19. At some point, he has to learn how to keep his own records. He has to know what he signed. He has to know what his employer told him. He has to know who to call. He has to know what his responsibilities are. Because Mom can’t follow him into every workplace for the rest of his life. And Dad can’t either.
When were asking to create a employment folder isn’t about expecting the worst and it isn’t about teaching teenagers to distrust every employer. It’s not about assuming every workplace is going to treat them badly. It’s not about preparing them for a fight but it is about teaching them to be responsible.
Adults keep records and adults pay attention to their money. Adults read documents and adults ask questions. Adults know where their important information is and those are skills that will follow them far beyond their first job.
If I could go back and change one thing about this situation, I would tell Charlie: Write down what they said and keep the paperwork. Take pictures of documents you’re allowed to keep. Ask questions. Call Mom if you don’t understand something. Call HR.
Know who you’re talking to and know what happens next. And before you sign something important? Read it. Because once you walk out the door, you may not remember every word that was said. But if you have your notes and your paperwork, you have something to go back to.
Don’t wait until something goes wrong and that’s really the lesson. Don’t create your employment folder after you have a problem. Create it when you get the job even if you think you will not need it.
Start with your first paycheck. Add your handbook. Keep your important paperwork. Keep track of your employment dates. Save important communications. And then forget about it until you need it. Hopefully, you’ll never need it for a serious problem. But if you do? You’ll be glad you have it.
Grateful, Thankful, Blessed.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
