The other day David was working and he called to let me know when he got home he needed to go to DD”s to see if they had a Safety Vest for him because they carry them and they are cheaper here. There are certain rules we have in our family that I really do try to follow.

David also said he wanted to go to Ace Hardware to look for something for Fruit Flies if I wanted to go. I said I did. I continued t work while I waited for David to get home. Once he arrived we took off and I reminded David I needed to pick up a toe as well. David said yes, we could go to Walmart but I wanted to get back home so we could make dinner.

We pulled into the Parking Lot and I asked to run down to Family Dollar. While there I found a lot Fall decorations I had been looking for as well as a lot of Turkey decorations for Halloween. While David was getting what he needed I picked out a few Fall decorations.

While shopping I had to keep reminding mysels #Oneholidayatatime because they had a lot of signs I wanted to purchase for #Christmas. But I let David know I would go back once a week and pick them up even though I have enough Chhristmas decorations to fill 3 Townhomes with.

Since we collect Halloween decorations, I usually want to enjoy every minute of Fall and Autumn before I start pulling out the pumpkins, ghosts, witches, and everything else Halloween. I love Fall, and I don’t want Halloween to completely take over the season.

But sometimes, family rules become teaching moments. And sometimes, when you love someone, you want to do something that you know will make them smile. But David knows me. He knows how much I love Halloween. At DD’s there was a sign that took me back to my childhood and Charlie’s that David picked up for me.

And instead of simply saving the money since we hadn’t found what he needed, he bought me two Halloween table runners. It wasn’t something we went into the store planning to buy. It wasn’t something we needed. But it was something he knew would make me happy. And that meant more to me than the table runners themselves.

David had also been working on the man cave which he had redone the downstairs area so that I could decorate it. I had been frustrated because I couldn’t decorate the way I wanted to, and he knew that. So he made changes. He created a space where I could once again do something that I love.

That is one of those things about marriage that I think we sometimes forget. Love isn’t always the big romantic gesture. Sometimes love is moving furniture. Sometimes it is making room for the other person. Sometimes it is buying two Halloween table runners when you really went to the store looking for pants and a vest.

And sometimes it is simply saying, “I know this makes you happy.” With us collecting Halloween decorations, I had been thinking about those table runners and about the downstairs. And then I had an idea. I took down the Fall decorations. Yes. I know. One holiday at a time.

But I wanted to surprise David. So I redid the downstairs with our Halloween decorations. Not because I was trying to ignore Fall. Not because I had suddenly decided our family rule didn’t matter. But because David had been stressed and frustrated. Things with Charlie and Gerald had been weighing on him, and I could see that he was carrying a lot.

Sometimes when someone you love is having a difficult time, you don’t necessarily know how to fix the situation. I couldn’t fix everything David was frustrated about. I couldn’t make all the stress disappear. But I could make him smile. So I decorated the man

This is one of the things I want Charlie—and really all of us—to learn about family. Our family has rules. We have expectations. We have traditions. But there are also times when those rules become teaching moments. Those #teachingmoments are something I want to teach Charlie.

The lesson isn’t necessarily, “Rules don’t matter.” The lesson can be, “There are times when loving someone means thinking about what they need.” David knew I needed a little happiness. He knew Halloween makes me happy. He knew I had been frustrated because I couldn’t decorate downstairs. And he did something about it.

Then I saw that he was stressed and frustrated, and I thought about what might make him happy. So I did something for him. That’s marriage. That’s family. That’s loving one another. When I look at those two Halloween table runners, I don’t just see decorations.

I see David standing in DD’s with me. I see the pants and vest we didn’t find. I see him deciding that if he couldn’t find what he needed, maybe he could still make me smile. And when I look at the Halloween decorations downstairs, I don’t just see ghosts, pumpkins, and everything else we’ve collected over the years.

I see the reason I put them there. I wanted David to come downstairs and smile. I wanted him to know that even when life is stressful, there are still little moments of happiness waiting for us. I wanted our home to feel like home not only for David and I but Charlie and the dogs.

We aren’t a perfect family and it’s okay that we have disagreements. It’s okay when we have stressful days and get frustrated. Sometimes we don’t know what to say or how to fix something. But we can still love each other through those moments and that is what matters.

We can still notice when someone needs a little encouragement and we can still surprise each other. And we can still teach our children that loving someone isn’t just about saying I love you. Sometimes you show it through the little things you do that will make them smile.

You make room for their hobbies. You buy the silly Halloween table runners. You redo the downstairs. You take down Fall a little earlier than planned because you know it might make someone smile. And sometimes you simply do something because you know the person you love will enjoy it.

So yes, in our house, one holiday at a time is still a pretty good rule. But I’ve also learned that family rules can become teaching moments. And sometimes the teaching moment is simply this: When you love someone, you look for little ways to make them smile.

And if that means bringing a little Halloween magic downstairs in September… Well, maybe that’s okay too. After all, the decorations can come down later. But the memory of making someone smile? That’s something I want to keep and its something I want to teach Charlie.

Thank you,

Glenda, Charlie and David Cates