Guest Post & Interview: This special guest post was brought to Greatful Moments by Dr. Kenneth Barish, Clinical Professor of Psychology at Weill Cornell Medicine, author, child psychologist, father, and grandfather. We are pleased to share his thoughts with our readers about grandparents, children’s emotional development, family relationships, play, listening, and raising emotionally healthy children.
There are some conversations that make you stop and think about your own family. For us, conversations about grandparents are one of those.
Grandparents can be the people who spoil the grandchildren a little, the people who show up for birthday parties and school events, the people who babysit when Mom and Dad need a hand, or sometimes the people who step into a much bigger role when a family needs them. But being a grandparent isn’t simply about having another title in the family.
Grandparents can become teachers, storytellers, listeners, playmates, encouragers, and sometimes that safe place a child needs when everything else feels a little too hard.
That is why we wanted to talk about the role grandparents can play in a child’s emotional development and what grandparents can do to build meaningful relationships with their grandchildren—even when they can’t see them every day.
For this conversation, we welcomed Dr. Kenneth Barish as our guest.
Meet Our Guest: Dr. Kenneth Barish
Kenneth Barish, Ph.D. is a Clinical Professor of Psychology at Weill Cornell Medicine and has spent more than four decades working with children and families. He is also a father and grandfather. Dr. Barish’s work focuses on children’s emotional health, family relationships, empathy, resilience, communication, and practical ways parents and grandparents can work through the everyday challenges of raising children.
His newest book, The Art and Science of Parenting and Grandparenting, was released June 29, 2026. The book brings together his experience as a psychologist, father, and grandfather with research in child development, neuroscience, clinical psychology, and education.
He is also the author of Pride and Joy: A Guide to Understanding Your Child’s Emotions and Solving Family Problems, which has received several awards. So we were especially interested in hearing his thoughts about grandparents, emotional development, play, listening, technology, and the relationships that can last a lifetime.
Our Conversation With Dr. Kenneth Barish
What do grandparents uniquely bring to a child’s emotional development, and how can they build a strong relationship with their grandchildren regardless of how much time they spend together?
Dr. Barish explains that grandparents can support, teach, and inspire their grandchildren just as parents do, but they sometimes have a different perspective because they aren’t dealing with all of the everyday conflicts that come with raising a child. That distance can allow grandparents to approach certain conversations differently.
He believes grandparents can help children see the meaning behind what they’re learning, talk about their own experiences, and encourage children to think not only about personal achievement but also about making a contribution to the world around them. And when there is conflict at home, grandparents can sometimes become an oasis—a person a child can talk to.
What about grandparents who are helping raise their grandchildren?
For grandparents who have taken on a major caregiving role, the responsibility can understandably feel overwhelming. Dr. Barish points out that the quality of the time spent together can be just as important as the quantity. Reading together, playing quiet games, showing genuine interest in a child’s interests, and patiently listening can all become important sources of emotional support. He also describes grandparenting as beneficial to everyone involved.
Children benefit from having grandparents in their lives. Parents can benefit from the additional support and the opportunity to have more relaxed, enjoyable time with their children. And grandparents themselves can experience joy and other benefits from spending time with their grandchildren. Sometimes the smallest moments really do matter.
What can parents and grandparents do to help children develop resilience, empathy, kindness, and the ability to handle disappointment? Dr. Barish shared several practical ideas.
First, take an enthusiastic interest in what your grandchild loves.– If a child is excited about dinosaurs, video games, drawing, sports, books, music, or something else, showing genuine interest can open the door to meaningful conversations.
Second, play with them.– He emphasizes the importance of play from the earliest days of life and points to research showing how important interactive play is to children’s social and intellectual development. And honestly, this one makes sense to us. Sometimes children don’t need another lesson. Sometimes they just need somebody willing to get down on the floor and play.
Third, make time to listen. Children need someone who will hear their disappointments, frustrations, and feelings of unfairness without immediately trying to make everything disappear. Listening can help a child understand that problems can be solved, relationships can be repaired, and difficult feelings don’t last forever.
Fourth, share your stories.– Grandparents have something parents can’t completely duplicate: they have lived a whole lifetime before their grandchildren were born. Stories about what Grandma or Grandpa was like as a child, mistakes they made, challenges they faced, and things they learned can give children encouragement and hope.
Fifth, help children learn to solve problems. Rather than simply telling a child what to do, Dr. Barish recommends listening to their concerns, sharing your own concerns, and then asking them for their ideas about how a problem might be solved.
Sixth, help others together. Small acts of kindness can help children develop a different understanding of themselves and their place in the world. And finally, tell them you’re proud of them. Not only when they get an A, score a goal, or accomplish something impressive—but because of their effort, their kindness, and the person they are becoming. That distinction between accomplishment and character really stood out to us.
What about technology and screen time? Technology is part of everyday family life now, and Dr. Barish believes families need to pay attention to how screens are being used. He points to the work of Jonathan Haidt and Sherry Turkle and says he is concerned about the effects excessive screen use can have on some children and teens, including concerns related to anxiety, depression, attention, and sustained critical thought.
But he also makes an important point about how families establish rules. Simply announcing screen limits can turn into another battle. Instead, he recommends that parents involve children in a collaborative problem-solving conversation. Parents can explain their concerns, listen to their children’s concerns, and work together on solutions. One practical idea he mentions is establishing screen-free times in the home, when everyone puts the screens away. And at the very least? No phones at meals.
After more than 40 years as a psychologist—and as a father and grandfather—what is one piece of advice you wish every new grandparent could hear? This was Dr. Barish’s favorite question. And his answer was wonderfully simple: Play and have fun with your grandchildren.
Take an enthusiastic interest in whatever interests them. Build together. Draw. Cook. Read. Tell stories. Make up stories together. When they serve, return the serve. Be enthusiastic. He believes that kind of play benefits everyone. Grandchildren are happier and more cooperative. Parents can be less stressed. And grandparents are building the foundation of their relationship with their grandchildren while enjoying the experience themselves. And maybe that’s the part we should all remember. We don’t always have to make the moment bigger. Sometimes we just have to be there.
We really enjoyed this conversation with Dr. Barish because so much of what he talked about isn’t complicated. Listen. Play. Ask questions. Tell stories. Take an interest in what your grandchildren love. Let them know you’re proud of who they are. Those sound like little things, but little things are often what children remember.
As grandparents, we don’t get to control every circumstance our grandchildren will face. We can’t protect them from every disappointment, every difficult day, or every mistake they’ll make. But we can give them something that may be even more important.
We can give them a relationship where they know they are loved, where someone will listen, where someone will laugh with them, and where someone believes they can figure things out. And we can share a little bit of the wisdom we’ve picked up along the way. That’s one of the beautiful things about being a grandparent. We’re not starting over. We’re bringing everything we’ve learned with us.
Thank you to Dr. Kenneth Barish for joining Greatful Moments as our guest and sharing his thoughts with our readers.
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Grateful. Thankful. Blessed.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates
