After my last trip to Walmart on Beach Street in Fort Worth, I needed a drink. I’m just going to be honest with you! They had remodeled the Store and it made me want to run outside and run away. LOL Once the trip was over I needed to come home, de-stress, relax, and forget that shopping trip ever happened.
I was ready for a little tequila and orange juice. Unfortunately, I didn’t have any orange juice, and I knew better than to take a shot of tequila because it wasn’t going to stop at one. So, I made a better decision. I grabbed my book, my blanket, and my doggy, and headed out to the porch. I was going to sit down, relax, and enjoy thirty minutes of peace and quiet. You know how that worked out, don’t you?
If you’ve ever been a mother, you know that the minute you sit down, somebody needs you. Or you hear the kids yelling Mom! Mom! Mom! and even though Charlie is almost grown this happens more than ever. Then I can spend hours running around, taking care of everybody else’s needs, doing the laundry, fixing meals, answering questions, and making sure everything is where it belongs. Nobody needs a thing.
But the second you sit down with a book and a blanket? “Mom!” “Mom!” “Mom!” And just when you think you might get five minutes to yourself, you hear David calling, “Hey, honey, can you come here?” Lord, have mercy! Then the dog wants to be picked up.
Charlie has even told me that Dad can have a drink, but Mom shouldn’t. Well, Charlie, honey, after that Walmart adventure, I think Mom deserved a little something! But since the orange juice wasn’t there and I knew better than to start something I might not stop, I settled for my book, my blanket, and my dog.
At least, that was the plan. Was I left alone? No. Was the porch completely peaceful? Absolutely not. Did I get to sit out there and enjoy a little time to myself? Eventually, yes. And that was enough to get me thinking. Sometimes we don’t realize how much you need a break
That Walmart trip had pushed me further than I wanted to go. What should have been a simple shopping errand turned into a frustrating experience that left my head pounding and my patience running thin. But when I sat on that porch, I started thinking about something else.
I thought about how many times in life we have to keep doing things we don’t want to do. We do them because we’re mothers. We do them because we’re wives. We do them because people depend on us. We do them because the bills need paying, the kitchen needs groceries, the pets need looking after, and life doesn’t stop just because we’re tired.
We put one foot in front of the other because that’s what we’ve been taught to do. My dad taught me not to give up when things get hard. Rosie the Riveter reminds me to roll up my sleeves and get the job done. Dolly Parton reminds me that I can find a little humor and joy even when the day hasn’t gone the way I planned.
But sitting on that porch helped me realize something else. Just because I can keep going doesn’t mean I never need to stop. There’s a difference between giving up and taking a break. Sometimes, stopping for a little while is exactly what helps you find the strength to keep moving forward.
As I sat there thinking about that shopping trip, I realized it had reminded me that I’m stronger than I sometimes give myself credit for. I’m here for a reason not a season. No, I didn’t conquer Walmart. I didn’t find the exact bra I originally wanted, and I still don’t know whether the one sitting on my desk is the right size!
But I got through the day. I found another option. I came home. I gave myself a little time to settle down, and I started thinking about what I could learn from the experience. Maybe I couldn’t control how the store was organized. Maybe I couldn’t make the shopping trip turn out the way I wanted. But I could decide what to do next.
And that got me thinking about my life. I’m here for a reason, not a season. I believe the Lord still has things for me to do. I may not accomplish every single thing I want to accomplish, and I may have to change direction along the way. But with His help, I can keep moving forward and get things done. I don’t have to conquer the entire world in one afternoon.
I just have to take the next step. And sometimes, that next step needs to wait until I’ve had a little rest, read a few pages of my book, and spent some time sitting on the porch with my dog. Here’s where I need to be honest with myself. I’ve spent a lot of my life taking care of other people. That’s part of being a mother and a wife, and I love my family. I want them to know they can depend on me.
But somewhere along the way, it’s easy to start believing that everybody else’s needs must always come before your own. You keep putting yourself last because somebody needs something. You postpone your own plans because something else needs to be done. You tell yourself you’ll rest later, read your book later, sit outside later, and take care of yourself later.
And before you know it, later never comes. Well, I’m beginning to think it’s time to change that. When I need to sit on that porch, I’m going to sit on that porch. I’m going to take my book. I’m going to take my blanket. I’m going to bring my dog along if she wants to come, and I’m going to give myself permission to take a breath.
If somebody calls “Mom,” I’ll decide whether it truly needs my attention right then. If David asks me to come inside, I’ll decide whether it can wait a few minutes. And if somebody’s feelings get hurt because Mom needs a little time to herself, we’ll have to work through that, too.
I’m not saying I’m going to stop loving my family or being there for them. I’m saying that I need to be there for myself, too. Taking care of myself doesn’t mean I love my family any less. It means I matter, too. And I want to remember that before I reach the point where a trip to Walmart nearly brings me to tears.
I can imagine Dolly Parton sitting beside me on that porch, telling me a story and reminding me that sometimes you have to laugh at the things you can’t change. Then I picture Rosie the Riveter rolling up her sleeves and telling me to stand up for myself. I think they’d both agree that being strong doesn’t mean working yourself into the ground.
Dolly might remind me to keep a little joy in my life. Rosie might remind me that I can take charge of my own decisions. And I believe both would tell me that I don’t have to wait for somebody else to give me permission to take care of myself. Sometimes a woman needs to step away from all the noise and remember who she is outside of all the jobs she does for everybody else.
She’s still a person with her own thoughts, hopes, dreams, and needs. She still deserves a little quiet. She still deserves to enjoy her book without feeling guilty. And she still deserves to sit on her own porch for thirty minutes without having to answer a dozen questions! Now, if Dolly and Rosie can help me remember that, I’ll take all the encouragement I can get.
Maybe you don’t have a porch. Maybe your place to unwind is a favorite chair, a quiet corner, a walk outside, or a few minutes with a cup of coffee before everybody else gets moving. It doesn’t have to be fancy. You don’t need a special occasion, and you don’t have to wait until you’re at the end of your rope.
You can take a break because you’re tired. You can make time for yourself because you need it. You can stop for a little while without feeling as though you’ve failed somebody. The dishes will still be there. The errands will still be there. Somebody will probably still need something.
But you don’t have to answer every call the second it comes. Sometimes, you can let the world carry on while you sit a spell. Read a few pages. Say a prayer. Watch the birds. Hug your dog. Think about your blessings. Or simply sit there and do absolutely nothing. And if you find yourself feeling guilty, remind yourself that rest is not a reward you have to earn by exhausting yourself first. It’s part of taking care of the person the Lord made you to be.
Grateful, Thankful, and Blessed—Even on the Hard Days That Walmart trip didn’t go the way I planned. It frustrated me, wore me out, and left me needing some time to myself. But it also reminded me that I can keep going without ignoring my own needs. I can be a wife, a mother, and somebody my family can depend on without being available every single minute of every single day.
I can love my family and still say, “I need a little time.” I can trust the Lord to help me through life’s challenges and still recognize when I need to sit down, take a breath, and gather my strength. So, when life gets hard, I’ll keep putting one foot in front of the other. I’ll keep trusting the Lord. I’ll keep learning from my dad, finding laughter with Dolly, and borrowing a little determination from Rosie.
But I’m also going to take care of myself. I’m going to sit on that porch with my book, my blanket, and my doggy. And if I only get five minutes before somebody calls for me, well, I’ll take those five minutes and try again tomorrow! Because I’m here for a reason, not a season. I still have things I want to do, stories I want to tell, and blessings I want to share. And I don’t have to wear myself out to prove that I can keep going.
Grateful, Thankful, and Blessed—and learning that taking care of myself is part of the journey, too. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a porch bench waiting for me. And this time, I’m taking my book, my blanket, and my doggy. Everybody else can wait a spell.
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Greatful. Thankful. Blessed,
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and Dates Cates
