This is one of those weeks when Charlie is driving me batty. I’m worried about his job, car payment and insurance and he stayed up all night on his game. Like he doesn’t have a care in the world.
We know that isn’t true but there comes a point when helping your child means something very different than it did when they were little. This is where we are today with Charlie and its hard because I want to step in and fix things but I can’t he has to do it own his onw.
When they’re young, I could make the phone call. I could talk to the teacher. I could make the appointment. I could try and solve the problem. I could make sure they have what they need.
But eventually, that child becomes a young adult. And sometimes one of the hardest things a parent can do is step back and say: “This one is yours.” That’s something our family is learning right now.
As much as I hate tough love it is what Charlie needs at the moment but David is undermining me at every turn even though he is trying to help Charlie will never grow up if David doesn’t step back and let Charlie fail if that is the LORDs will.
Yes, seeing my son fail would be hard but sometimes its what is needed to wake people up. We’ve found ourselves in a situation where employment has suddenly become uncertain. There are questions that need to be answered.
There are conversations that need to happen. There are bills that don’t stop simply because a job situation has changed. And when you’re the parent, your first instinct can be to jump in and fix everything.
I understand that instinct. I’m a mom. I want answers. I want things handled. I want to know whether there is a job to go back to, when that answer is coming, and what we’re supposed to do in the meantime.
If it were me, I’d already be up. I’d be making the phone call. I’d be asking HR what is happening, how long the process is expected to take, whether I actually have a job, and what I need to do next.
And if I couldn’t get an answer yet, I’d be figuring out what I could do while I waited. I’d be filling out another application. I’d be looking at temporary work. I’d be researching gig work. I’d be looking at the bills that are coming due.
I’d be figuring out where I could cut expenses. I’d be conserving gas. I’d be getting up and doing something. Because waiting for an answer doesn’t mean you have to wait for your life to begin again.
When your child turns 18 on the brink of 19, you don’t suddenly stop being their parent. You don’t stop loving them. You don’t stop worrying. You don’t stop wanting to help. But you do have to start teaching them that adulthood comes with responsibility.
If there is a problem with their job, they need to learn how to communicate with their employer. If they need to talk to HR, they need to learn how to make that conversation. If they don’t know what is happening, they need to learn how to ask questions.
If they aren’t working, they need to start looking at other ways to earn money. If a paycheck may be delayed or disappear, they need to look at their expenses. And if they have a car sitting in the driveway, they need to understand that the car isn’t free.
There is a payment. There is insurance. There is gas. There is maintenance. There are tires. There are repairs. Those expenses don’t disappear because you’re between jobs. You can’t always depend on your parents to pay your bills because they have there own bills to pay.
One of the things I’ve been thinking about through all of this is the idea of having a Plan B. Suppose the job comes back. Wonderful. But what if it doesn’t? What if the answer takes another day? Another week?
What if the job comes back but the hours aren’t what they used to be? What if another opportunity comes along? That’s why looking at other options isn’t giving up on Plan A. It’s preparing for whatever happens next.
For example, if you’re eligible for a gig opportunity, starting the application process doesn’t mean you’ve decided to leave your regular job. It means you’re creating another option and even if you get your job back you can use this other gig at another time.
Some applications take time. There may be background checks. There may be paperwork. There may be requirements that have to be completed before you can actually start earning money.
So why wait until you’re completely out of options to begin? That’s one of the lessons I want our young adults to understand. You don’t wait until the emergency happens to start preparing for it.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is get out of bed This may sound simple, but I mean it. When you’re facing uncertainty, it’s easy to stay up late, sleep late, play games, scroll through your phone, or convince yourself that there’s nothing you can do until someone else gives you an answer.
But there is almost always something you can do. You can clean your room. You can mow the yard. You can work on your résumé. You can fill out an application. You can research another job. You can learn a skill.
You can organize your employment paperwork. You can figure out your monthly expenses. You can call HR you don’t have to wait on them to call you. You can make a list of questions. You can help around the house.
You can save the gas you have. You can ride with someone else when you’re going to the same place. You can start preparing for tomorrow. You can get up. And sometimes getting up is the first step toward getting your life moving again.
Parents have to learn something, too because this lesson isn’t only for the young adult. It’s for Mom and Dad, too. Because parents can accidentally make adulthood harder by making everything too easy.
If Mom always pays the bill, Dad always makes the phone call, somebody else always provides the gas, somebody else always solves the problem, and somebody else always steps in when things go wrong, then the young adult never gets the opportunity to discover:
“I can handle this.” That’s a lesson every young person needs. There is a difference between saying: “I’m here if you need me.” and saying: “I’ll take care of it.” One teaches independence. The other can create dependence.
And sometimes loving your child means letting them experience the consequences of their choices. That doesn’t mean you leave them without food. It doesn’t mean you stop caring. It doesn’t mean you refuse to help during a genuine emergency. It means you stop automatically rescuing them from every uncomfortable situation.
Don’t waste the lesson Maybe the job comes back. Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe HR has an answer today. Maybe the answer takes longer. Maybe another job turns out to be better. We don’t know yet.
But there is something we can know. This experience can teach a young adult how to handle uncertainty. It can teach them to ask questions. It can teach them to communicate. It can teach them to save money.
It can teach them to think about their expenses. It can teach them to have a backup plan. It can teach them that their parents aren’t their emergency bank account. And it can teach them something even more important: One uncertain job situation does not determine the rest of your life.
When we started talking about the idea of a Teen Entrepreneur series, entrepreneurship could have meant starting a business. Maybe selling crafts. Maybe photography. Maybe gaming. Maybe mowing lawns. Maybe starting a side hustle.
But I’m realizing that entrepreneurship is bigger than that. Sometimes entrepreneurship means looking at a difficult situation and asking: “What can I do next?” It means taking responsibility.
It means looking at your resources. It means understanding your expenses. It means finding another way to earn money. It means learning from mistakes. It means getting back up when something doesn’t work. And sometimes it means realizing that Plan B isn’t failure. Plan B is preparation.
This is where faith comes into our family’s story. We don’t know what God has planned. We don’t know why certain doors open and others suddenly close. We don’t know whether this particular job will work out.
But we do know that sitting still and waiting for someone else to fix everything isn’t the answer. We’re going to keep moving. We’re going to keep learning. We’re going to keep looking for opportunities. We’re going to ask questions. We’re going to work. We’re going to help where we can.
And we’re going to trust God to show us the next door. Because sometimes the lesson isn’t about getting the exact answer we wanted. Sometimes the lesson is learning that we can handle whatever answer comes next.
And that’s what I want our young adults to learn. Your first job isn’t your whole career. One difficult week isn’t your whole life. One closed door isn’t the end of your story. And when Plan A changes? Get up.
Figure out what comes next. And keep moving forward. Teen Entrepreneur: When Plan A Changes Real-life lessons. Practical tools. Faith, family, resilience—and learning how to keep moving forward.
Grateful, Thankful, and Blessed
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates