Meet Gerald: The Middle Child, the Music Lover, and the One Who Still Shows Up
If you’ve been following along with our family introductions, you’ve already met David and Charlie. Now it’s time to introduce someone else who is very much a part of our everyday story. Meet my brother, Gerald. Gerald is my brother, and for the longest time, his home was in Oklahoma City which is where Suzzane wanted to live if she had grown up.
He first lived with our dad, who had a house there. Eventually, Gerald bought a house of his own and my mother lived with him. He still owns that house today. It’s a nice two-bedroom house sitting on three lots, and while life has brought him back to Texas, that Oklahoma house is still a part of his story.
Gerald worked for Tandy Leather Company years ago and later spent many, many years working for Hobby Lobby. But when I think about Gerald growing up, one of the memories that comes to mind is White’s Cafeteria. That was his first stop after getting out of high school. And honestly, I miss White’s Cafeteria which my mom, my Aunt Joyce and my Cousin Jeffery worked at as well.
There are restaurants that are just restaurants, and then there are places that become part of your memories. White’s is one of those places for me. When I think about Gerald and those days, I can’t help but think about stopping there. If I did I wonder if I would see his little red truck almost like David’s truck sitting in the parking lot waiting for Gerald to get off.
Now, if you know Gerald, you probably know about his van. He has this beautiful blue van, and I have to tell you, if that van were mine, I’d probably fall in love with it too. I like the fact I don’t have to climb up to get into it. But those speakers that take up the whole back seat and are bigger than my house it seems.
Gerald has always loved rap music. Turn that music up, and you know Gerald is around. Just like Charlie who also has speakers for his new car. LORD help me I’m going to need headphones and blinders when I ride with either of them. Which is one of those things that makes me smile because everybody has something that is completely and unmistakably them.
For Gerald, and Charlie sometimes it’s the music. Sometimes it’s the van or SUV which Charlie has. Sometimes it’s a Western playing on the television 24/7 just like my dad and even David’s dad did. And sometimes it’s a frozen burrito for lunch just like Charlie and I’ve eaten more times than not.
Gerald has had some serious struggles with his health. He is diabetic and blind, and life isn’t always easy for him. But something about Gerald has never changed. He shows up. Even though he has trouble seeing, he still makes an effort to go support his nieces and nephews at their games and school activities.
He wants to be there. And I think that says a lot about who he is. He also helps around the house. He does the dishes, even when doing them isn’t always easy for him. That’s Gerald. He may have limitations, but he doesn’t let those limitations completely define him. He finds ways to contribute. He finds ways to be there. And he keeps going.
Gerald’s Oklahoma house has a pool table he was never able to use because it was in his garage so he lived at the Pool Hall until it shut down. When he first came down here, he started teaching Charlie how to play pool. Because they have free pool at the American Legion and it’s 50 cents a game at the VFW. I loved watching Gerald teaching Charlie while David and Bradley waited there turn to play.
Uncle Gerald teaching Charlie something, passing along a little bit of knowledge and spending time together. Just like he used to do with Suzzane and even my nephew
Uncle Gerald teaching Charlie something, passing along a little bit of knowledge and spending time together. Just like he used to do with Suzzane and even my nephew David M. who he also took to play Golf with when he worked at the Golf Course in Oklahoma. Like David and I and my sister Debbie Gerald also graduated from Haltom High.
Unfortunately, Gerald eventually had to stop playing pool, but that memory is still there. And those are the moments that become part of a family history without anyone realizing it at the time. There have also been plenty of trips to the American Legion and the VFW for food and drinks and just to hang out.
Gerald, David, and Charlie would go together. Sometimes Bradley would go. Sometimes my sister would come along too. Sometimes we would meet other friends there and then the people there became our friends and when David and I go back they all ask about Gerald and Charlie and when there going to come back.
It became one of those things our family did together. And that’s what I love about family. Sometimes family memories aren’t big vacations or fancy celebrations. Sometimes they’re simply: Where are we going tonight? Who’s riding with us? Are we stopping somewhere to eat? Who’s coming to the VFW? Those ordinary moments are often the ones we remember the longest.
If you ask Gerald about lunch, there’s a pretty good chance a frozen burrito might be involved. I think they’re one of his favorite meals and Charlie and I like them to with Cheese please. And he loves my moms Spaghetti I make now that she is gone. His birthday is October 15, which means his birthday is right around Halloween.
Mine comes shortly after his, in November then there is Charlie in December. Growing up, Gerald was the middle child. And, according to family history, he was Mom’s favorite. Without a doubt. Mom didn’t make him do much. Which is sad because when she passed away there were things he didn’t know how to do and that is why I made sure Charlie could take care of himself.
Of course, as the sister telling this story, I reserve the right to remind him of that every now and then. That’s what sisters are for. But if there is one thing about Gerald that stands out to me more than anything else, it’s how much he reminds me of our dad. Although, they butted heads more than anyone I know.
Gearld is kind just like my dad and he is the kind of person who would give you the shirt off his back. He cares about people. And even with everything he’s dealing with, there is still that part of him that wants to help, wants to be involved, and wants to be there for his family. That reminds me of Dad.
Maybe that’s one of the reasons having Gerald here full-time feels so meaningful. When Suzzane was little Gerald lived with me recently, and that was a pretty special experience. We lived in our Grandmother Dorie’s home and I taught him how to take care of himself. Then he moved in with my mom and everything I taught him went out the door because she did everything for him.
I wanted to remind you life has a funny way of bringing people back around. We grow up. We move away. We build our own lives. We live in different houses and different cities. And then, sometimes, circumstances bring us back together. I have no, clue why he has chosen to live with me and sleep on my couch instead of staying with Debbie but if this is where the LORD wants him I guess I will keep him.
Suddenly, my brother who spent years living in Oklahoma City is right here in the middle of my everyday life again. Doing the dishes. Watching Westerns. Listening to rap music. Eating frozen burritos. Talking about family. Taking over my living room and eaves dropping on my conversations. And being Gerald.
Gerald is no longer just the brother who lives in Oklahoma. He’s here. He’s part of the everyday rhythm of our home. He’s part of the stories we’re telling. He’s part of the memories we’re making now. And that’s why he belongs here in our family introductions. Because family isn’t always about who lives under the same roof.
Sometimes it’s about who keeps showing up. Who keeps loving. Who keeps supporting. Who reminds you of the people you’ve lost. And who, despite life’s challenges, is still sitting at the table with you. That’s my brother Gerald. The middle child. Mom’s favorite child without a doubt. Just ask her she will tell you he is just like Debbie was my dad’s favorite and I was my grandmother Dorie’s favorite child.
The guy with the blue van and the giant speakers. The Western TV watcher. The frozen-burrito eater. The pool-playing uncle. The brother who loves his nieces and nephews enough to show up even when it’s hard. And the man who reminds me, in so many ways, of our dad. I’m glad he’s here most of the time but some days when him and Charlie or David or even I are butting heads I think its time he goes. But with his health problems I know this is where my mom and dad would want him to be. Welcome home, Gerald.
Grateful, Thankful, and Blessed.
Thank you,
Glenda, Charlie and David Cates