A Day From Heaven and Hell — and Taking Back My Space

If you’ve been around for a while you know Wednesday is my favorite day of the week and sometimes Thursday if David is off. This morning he is working but we was able to spend some time together yesterday which just the two of us. But I wanted to let you know tomorrow didn’t go smoothly which isn’t unexpected in this house.

What I can tell you about yesterday is If there was ever a day that came from both heaven and hell, yesterday was one of those days. It had a little bit of everything. A window shopping and breakfast date with my husband.

We had good food and we was able to make new memories. There was a lot of cleaning and organizing both upstairs and downstairs and yes, David did most of it while I worked some. That was a reminder that the little things really do matter.

And enough frustration to make me finally say: I’m done. I’m taking back my space. It started with breakfast when David said he would take me anywhere I wanted to go. We thought about Denny’s, then I Hop but most of the time there to cold inside.

Then Cracker Barrel but I don’t like there Gravy. I wanted French Toast so I asked to go to Moe’s Country Kitchen. I believe the LORD led us here because when we got there we noticed on the sign they had Polish Sausage and Saukraut which is one of David’s favorite meals.

Usually I will ask what time they begin serving lunch but I didn’t do that yesterday so we both got breakfast. When we was leaving I did and we learned then sell everything on the menu all day long. But that was okay because it allowed us to have a second date yesterday which we needed when we went back for a unexpected lunch meal because Charlie was hungry.

Poor David having the office in the bedroom is both a blessing and a hindrance at times. I woke up at 6a and got up to get dressed and begin to work. I ended up waking up David and the dogs needed to go out.

David took the dogs out and I wrote a post. Then I got dressed and went downstairs to go walking. David asked me to wait and we would go to Walmart. On the way he decided we did need breakfast. Mo’s didn’t open until later so we went to Walmart and stopped back by on our way home.

Thank the Lord for David stopping because it allowed me to sit and regroup before having to come home and deal with the house, dogs, Gerald and Charlie. The funny part about Walmart was I went for Spaghetti Noodles. Or that was the plan and to look for Dolly’s Cookbook for work.

Until we got to Walmart. Then I changed everything. Not David I did it this time. I decided I wanted Rotel dip — something we haven’t had in years — and then I decided I wanted to make biscuit pizza for dinner one night because Suzzane and Charlie like them.

So we bought everything for that, along with the noodles for the spaghetti. Basically, we went into Walmart with one dinner plan and walked out with several possibilities. That’s pretty normal around here. Then I had to check out the books, then the clearance aisle. Then the Halloween decorations and Christmas decorations called my name.

By the time we left Walmart I had walked 15 minutes. That was a Godsend because I hadn’t been walking the way I need to. On the way home, David went back by Moe’s so we could have breakfast. Just him and me. No Charlie and no, Gerald. No, dogs and no drama. No one else.Just David and me. And honestly, it was wonderful.

We sat down, ate breakfast, talked, relaxed, and just enjoyed being together. David even stayed off his phone which was a miracle in itself. This was another reminder to me that a date doesn’t have to be fancy.

Sometimes it is breakfast at a restaurant someone likes. Sometimes it’s just having a little time together without everybody needing something from you. And yesterday, I needed that and David knew it and made sure I had it. That is LOVE.

While we was working around the house Charlie decided he was hungry, so David said, “Let’s go get something to eat.” Of course Charlie refused to leave the house. But Gerald l had gone with my sister, and we already knew we’d have to figure out something for him if we went to eat.

But it didn’t matter David said lets go. We left Charlie at home after finding out what he would want. But we didn’t think about Gerald because there was food at home for him, so it wasn’t like there wasn’t anything for him to eat. Not, only that we didn’t know if he was going to eat with Debbie or not and it might sound rude I didn’t want to spend money buying extra food when he isn’t helping.

David and I decided to go back to Moe’s. Twice in one day that isn’t something we normally do. But they had Polish sausage and sauerkraut. And sauerkraut is David’s favorite. Seriously. He would eat it 24 hours a day, 365 days a year if I let him.

Since no, one else eats it he never gets it and he deserves something he likes for everything he does for us.

So before we went, I called to make sure they actually had it. They did. They also said they had Salisbury steak. Now, I haven’t had Salisbury steak in forever. And because we had just been talking about TV dinners the other day, my mind immediately went back to being a kid and eating Salisbury steak from a TV dinner.

So when we got there, I asked about it. I wanted to make sure it was gravy-based and not tomato-based. Then I asked the waitress whether I should get the Salisbury steak or the meatloaf. She told me she didn’t really eat the meatloaf because it had brown gravy on it.

I told her, “I hate meatloaf with brown gravy. Brown gravy doesn’t go on meatloaf.” She laughed. And then she said: “Ketchup” goes on Meatloaf. Exactly! Or nothing at all she said and I agreed again. Sometimes Tomato Sauce as long as it isn’t disguising the meat. We understood each other.

Unfortunately, when she came back, she apologized and told me that the Salisbury steak had actually been yesterday’s lunch. Someone hadn’t changed the menu. I asked what the had in it’s place and she said Bacon Wrapped Chopped Steak.

I said that was okay because I like it as well and, I ordered the bacon-wrapped chop steak. Because you can never go wrong with bacon. I’ve always called chop steak the poor man’s filet mignon. Wrap it in bacon and put it next to mashed potatoes, and I’m pretty happy.

I also ordered Pea Salad which unfortunately, reminded me of my David’s mom’s Pea Salad and the Relish she uses. I just didn’t like it but you might. I ate what I could, but I didn’t finish it. Then came the hard part Rols, Garlic Toast, or Cornbread.

No, Cornbread for me because it usually isn’t sweet and can be bitter. I told the waitress I was torn between the Garlic Toast and the Rolls. The Roll won out so David ordered the Garlic Toast so we could share.

The rolls, though? The rolls were amazing. I’m telling you I could have made a meal out of them. Next time I’m going to order a extra Roll or two because David liked them to. Having a second date was a Godsend because sometimes you have to take the wins where you can get them.

When we got home, David started working. He cleaned downstairs and he reorganized. He started making me an actual space where I could decorate. And that may sound like a little thing. But it wasn’t a little thing to me.

The house has stressed me out because I haven’t been able to get my Fall decorations out the way I wanted. Things kept getting moved. Things kept getting messed up. I couldn’t make the space feel like mine.

And David knew how much that was bothering me. So he started fixing it. He didn’t make a big announcement because he didn’t have to. He just started working. And those are the little things that tell you somebody loves you.

Sometimes love is flower and sometimes love is dinner. Sometimes love is taking you out for breakfast. And sometimes love is your husband downstairs moving things around because he knows you’re frustrated and wants you to have a place where you can decorate and feel at home. Those little things mean everything.

Later, David came upstairs and helped me pick up and organize the room. And let me tell you… It was a hot mess. But we started figuring things out. He told me that on his way home today, he’s going to pick up two more totes.

We’re going to take the desk out of my office because I’ve finally decided I don’t want it. We’re going to move a shelf from the hallway into the room instead. That shelf used to hold our microwave, but our downstairs microwave went out, so I had to move the upstairs microwave downstairs.

One day I’ll buy a bigger microwave. But right now, we’re making do with what we have. Christmas is coming, after all. Can’t I put a microwave on my Christmas list? I mean everyone uses it so they can take up a collection and buy me the one I want.

We’re also getting rid of one of the printers and a computer we don’t need anymore. And suddenly, the whole upstairs doesn’t seem quite as impossible. We had made these elaborate plans about taking the shelf down and moving everything around.

But once we actually started cleaning and organizing, we realized we didn’t need to make it complicated. It was going to be fine. Sometimes we make things much harder in our heads than they really are and that is what I was doing while making more work for David which he didn’t need.

By last night, we were both exhausted. I was going to watch a television show. Before I knew it, I was asleep. And honestly? I needed it. There weren’t any adventures with Charlie yesterday. He was back in one of his moods.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde had apparently stopped by. He was grumpy and grouchy. Don’t ask me. Don’t talk to me. Git out of my room even though we pay the rent. Leave me alone. And his dog is in there now, so I’m sure that may become World War Four when he gets up.

But you know what? I’m not fighting that battle today. I have work to do. I need me time. And I need my space. Today, I’m Taking Back My Space I’m going to say this plainly. This is my house. This is my room even though Charlie says it isn’t and before Gerald moved in he would have been right but things have changed its mine and David’s room.

Just like this is my home. And I am allowed to have rules about how my home is treated. I am allowed to have a room where I can work. I am allowed to have a place where I can decorate. I am allowed to have quiet. I am allowed to have boundaries.

That doesn’t mean I don’t love my family. It doesn’t mean I don’t want them here. It means respect goes both ways. I’m not going to spend my day arguing. I’m not going to keep explaining myself. I’m not going to keep biting my hands because I’m frustrated. I’m done.

If you’re in my home, treat it with respect. Treat me with respect. Treat David with respect. Treat the dogs with respect. Treat my things with respect. Treat my work time with respect. Treat my space with respect. And if you can’t do that, then we have a problem that I’m no longer going to solve by arguing.

I’m choosing peace and I’m choosing my work. I’m choosing my space. And I’m choosing me. I’ choosing David and my dog and myself because I’ve spent enough time worrying about everybody else and walking on eggshells. I am done.

I told David I’m setting working hours. Nine to five. That’s my workday. I’m working on GreatfulMoments. I’m building my blog and I’m getting things done. I have a blog to build, and I’m going to do it come hell or high water.

The house can wait until I get off or someone else can do it. This is for me. Not because I don’t love my family. Not because I don’t care about anyone else. But because I matter, too. And maybe that’s what yesterday really taught me.

You can love your family and still need boundaries. You can be there for everybody and still need time for yourself. You can appreciate the people around you and still say: “This is my space. Please respect it.” And if nobody else is going to be kind to you? Then take the time to be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

Be Kind to Yourself Today- Before you start taking care of everyone else, take a few minutes to take care of you.

My Morning Reset

☐ Get Up & Breathe– Take a moment before the day gets busy. Breathe deeply. Let yourself wake up.

☐ Make Yourself a Cup of Coffee or Tea ☕- Don’t rush. Enjoy those first few minutes of your day.

☐ Take 5 Minutes for Yourself– Pray. Reflect. Sit quietly. Look out the window. Just be still.

☐ Read for 10 Minutes 📖- Read a book, devotional, magazine, or something that makes you happy.

☐ Drink Some Water– Start taking care of your body, too.

☐ Regroup Before You Work– Look at what needs to be done today. Decide what matters most.

☐ Set My Work Hours
My work time today: _____9_____ to ____5______

☐ Choose My Top 3 Priorities

1. Myself
2. My blog
3. My Dog and David

☐ Protect My Space
It is okay to say, “I need some quiet time.”

☐ Be Kind to Myself ❤️

I don’t have to do everything today and I damn sure don’t have to make everyone happy. I am allowed to rest and not to be made to feel guilty with the breaks I take. I am allowed to have boundaries. I am allowed to make time for myself.

TODAY’S REMINDER

Even if no one else is being kind to you, take the time to be kind to yourself. You deserve it.

✝️ Glenda • 🐸 David • 🎮 Charlie • 🦋 Suzanne

Thank you,

Glenda, Charlie and David Cates